(I’m not sure why I’m listening to this.)
I was in a blogging mood just a few moments ago, but this sort of just disappeared. I can’t even remember what I wanted to blog about. Anyway, I guess I should just spam what has been happening in my life so that future!Rei would be able to read back and go OH RIGHT, I USED TO DO STUFF LIKE THAT and then be mopey about how time has flown by and now she’s old and lame, kind of how I’m feeling because I miss Players so much. And I miss Boom (once again) so much. I wish I could just live in post-Promos J1 forever because that was just the defining moment of my JC life.
Depressing nostalgia aside, I made new friends! (This sounds like the starting of a Primary school essay.)
(Okay just to side-track: I’m not sure how to define myself anymore. I used to think of myself as a writer, back when I used to just write nonsense, write for myself, write anything I wanted no matter how cheesy or horrible it sounded. But I haven’t been writing recently, despite the fact that I was supposed to start on Gwen Stacy and start planning out Civil War/Dino Thunder-Ninja Storm. So I can’t really call myself a writer anymore can I?
I used to think of myself as an actress as well, but I hardly act. And truthfully, I think I’m a horrible actress so there goes another label.
It’s like a personality crisis, but not really at the same time.)
A few weeks ago, I went for USC camp, and it was so chill compared to Arts Camp. I made a bunch of awesome friends there, and it was really epic because there were fake freshies in our OG and I felt so BETRAYED by one of them because I felt very bad always accusing him of being fake because he pretended to be from poly and kept playing the Minority Card (like Syamil when we played Werewolves =.=), BUT GARY THAT BITCH WAS A FAKE FRESHIE. Okay that sentence makes no sense and has a lot of because in it.
I thought USP was going to be full of scarily intellectual people I wouldn’t be able to talk to and would be crazily intimidated by. But everyone I’ve met so far has been really nice and welcoming, and I’m sort of looking forward to spending more time with my OG, and the other people I’ve met in USP. Also because Palenque (OKAY! heh) seems to be filled with foodpigs like me, so I have food buddies to go on food trails on, and then binge-exercise after that because of all the horrible calories.
I’m looking forward to midnight walks/runs around the UTown campus, night-time HTHTs, food trails around NUS/Holland V/close places, crashing in people’s apartments, doing crazy things for USP pageant, working hard on exams/papers, studying in the area outside Starbucks which reminds me of the Windy Benches (<3), studying in my room, decorating my room, finding myself again.
After camp, I went sailing with USP. I’m not really sure why I went for the course since I’d learnt sailing before, but heck! I’m now a Level 1 Sailor, which means that I can sail anywhere around Singapore. I wish I were a mermaid, I love the water so much. Although I managed to put on weight (I THINK!) because of sailing; I keep eating craploads of food, assuming I’d ‘burn it all off’ sailing later, but sailing is so chill. Like I was telling Memphis Boy, sailing is a really good dating activity, since you’re just stuck on the boat with one person. It gives you a lot of time to talk to, and get to know a person, and I’m glad I had a nice partner like Memphis Boy, who entertained my random bitching about people and nonsense; even if he did keep sailing off course.
I really hope to continue sailing. It was quite disorientating to still feel as if I was on the boat, even at 10pm, way after we had stopped sailing. But whatever, I LOVE THE WATER~!
But recently, I feel to lazy to make friends with people, and I’m wondering where I stand with my current friends. Aside from Shien, I hardly talk to anyone, and it’s difficult not to feel alone, even when I know I have an awesome group of friends within the Mugs, and that I always have Iz (if she bothers replying me texts). I’m used to not reaching out to my friends, but that just leaves me wondering if I’m just drifting away from them. Sometimes, I feel as if all their lives are progressing, their friendships getting more intertwined and whatever nonsense, and I’m just sitting in a corner, staring at a wall because I’m too lazy to do anything.
It’s probably the nostalgia for JC and tiredness talking, but sometimes, I just don’t know.
Also, I’m too lazy to make new friends. That’s quite ridiculous with uni starting and two O-Weeks coming, but I’m too lazy to make friends, and too lazy and irrationally annoyed to properly foster the friendships I’ve made. This is quite ironic seeing as I just gushed over my newfound friends in USP, but yeah haha. They’re all awesome, but the process of making good friends seems so tiresome that I just feel so BLEHHHH when I think about it. Haha I’m such a horrible person.
I just miss normal JC life. I miss knowing where I stand with everyone. I miss Players and productions.
But nevertheless, I’m psyched for uni. I want to do so many things it’s going to be insane: USProductions, normal NUS theatre club, cheer-leading, sailing, diving, martial arts (muay thai/aikido?), and a potential double major.
Sounds like someone is going to die in uni.