descend, v.: It is not a freefall into sadness, but a staircase.
(David Levithan)

I can’t stop thinking about this quote. It keeps popping into my head randomly. Recently, I’ve been feeling a little over-whelmed by how much work I’ve yet to do (which is always a perennial worry for a procrastinator like me, seeing as how I should be doing my Japanese Studies tutorial rn instead of typing this out), and feeling insecure about whether I’m making full use of my time here (no CCAs, no accomplishments, nothing note-worthy to speak of), amongst other trivial thoughts and fears that just pop into my head randomly. And when I start thinking of these things, I suddenly feel this great sense of anxiety and fear, and just fall into this O WOE IS MY LIFE WHY WEHHHHH mood.

And that’s why I love this.

Sadness isn’t something that comes naturally to us; it’s not something that we can ‘fall’ into, or an emotion that we should easily feel. We need to work at it, we need to put in effort into feeling sad, feeling insecure, feeling worthless, feeling like nothing.

This fills me with strength, as silly as that sounds. It reminds me that the only thing that can keep me down is myself and the way I look at the world, and that as long as I am satisfied with what I have, I shouldn’t stress myself over what I think I should have. We aren’t pre-disposed to be sad. It’s just easier to think that we are because it saves us the effort of cheering ourselves up or remaining positive. But this quote gives me the strength and power to push past all that inertia.

The opposite of sadness doesn’t have to be happiness — it can just be contentment. And right now, despite everything, I’m truly having a lot of fun at this stage of my life, in NUS. And that’s all that matters.

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