Recently, I’ve been running quite a bit — which is rather odd because honestly, I’m not really a big fan of running. I used to be during the O Level period, when I was just cooped up at home everyday, burning TYS to powder into ash for drinking; but then I stopped when O Levels ended because I had too many nonsense things going on after that, and I just grew sick of running the same route. Anyway, I digress, I’ve been running about twice a week for the past few months, usually about 2 – 5 km, depending on how long I feel like running and how much I feel like eating the next day (heh heh, always a good motivation to run~), and my favourite route is the one where you take the back exit out of UTown, go to Kent Ridge MRT, and then loop back to UTown through the NUS compound.
The novelty of running late at night hasn’t worn off yet, which is half of the reason why I’m still so excited to run every week. Although I hate how I’ve to hide my dirty clothes, so the smell doesn’t stink up the room — if it weren’t for that logistical problem (and the fact that I’ve a lot of work, which I always conveniently choose to ignore), I’d probably be running every day… Which I’m not allowed to do because apparently I inherited really, really, really sucky genes for running since both my parents’ knees are horrible, and mine are showing signs of being a ball of suckdom.
At first, I felt like a Power Ranger in MMPR: The Movie when they were roller-blading around at the start when I was running at night. And that made me feel pretty badass and awesome; and everytime I run, I fully expect to be teleported into the Command Centre and given my morpher. And I nearly ended up attacking some random jogger last night because he was running behind me, and I didn’t expect to see him when I turned around. But that’s besides the point.
I think why I love running at night so much is because it’s the closest thing to being stupid and doing something retarded and wild. For the longest time, I’ve been craving an adrenaline hit of some sorts, and running (at night, in the dark, half blind because I refuse to waste a pair of contacts on a half an hour run, the wind blowing in the cool air) is the easiest way to get my adrenaline fix. But it’s definitely not enough… I’ve been feeling so restless and antsy lately; there’s so much not-exactly-nervous-or-anxious energy in me that I need to get rid off. I want to do something crazy, I want to do something stupid.
That’s probably why I told Loyee that I wanted to go clubbing. Or why I keep entertaining thoughts of dyeing my hair (cheap thrill ttm). That’s also probably why I’m still slightly upset about not getting USProductions. And that’s why I need to find something that I can throw myself into so I can rid myself of all this inertia-energy that’s been cooped up in me for so long. And maybe that’s why, I’m still running away from problems that I know I should deal with.