So I can see how badly this will hurt me, when you say goodbye.
On Saturday, I went back to help HELP (haha, I am so punny); and I’m quite glad that I decided to volunteer at HELP last year because while we don’t see the kids that often, it’s still amazing to feel that we’re a part of their lives. University, to me, is all about exposing yourself to different sorts of environments and meeting new people — and while I may not be exactly doing this very well because I’m just a little socially awkward turtle — and this is one of the ways that I can broaden my view of the world, I guess! It wasn’t that I intentionally set out to look for a certain group, but I think it’s great that the target group that HELP BBBS looks at is also similar to my own life. I remember telling Colleen that I wanted to volunteer at HELP because it was a way for me to use my experiences and turn it around instead. And although we haven’t really talked about our own families and stuff like that with the children there, I’d like to think that if any of the kids need someone to talk to about what’s happening at home or whatever’s going on in their lives, I’ll be able to share with them how I dealt with my own problems, and to let them know they’re not alone.
Haha I guess this was just prompted by how Jiaying basically launched herself at me the other day, and I was struck by how this whole BBBS thing wasn’t just a one-off event every (sometimes other) month, and it wasn’t just something that I had to go to once a month, it’s way more than that. I wouldn’t use the term family so loosely, but maybe something close to that. And I’m grateful to be a part of such a community.
Keep it sweet, keep it slow. Let the future pass, and don’t let go.
The semester is ending! This has been a tumultuous semester to say the least, and I am rather smug about how even though there’s been all sorts of nonsense going on, I am still valiantly defending my CAP (oh gosh, what Rei-En, did you honestly just say that? #muggerasian). The most important thing that I’m learning this semester (about myself and about others around me) is how to be a good friend, and how to treat those around you with respect and with care. And I’m so relieved that I’m staying in a suite this semester with the girls, because I think if I stayed alone, I would have died of heart-ache and loneliness by now.
As Valencia keeps saying: “It’s the ones that stay that matter” — alright, that was a rather inaccurate paraphrase of that statement.
And despite everything, no matter how shitty things may have got, or how I live some days steeped in regret and nostalgia, I wouldn’t change anything that happened this semester (except for maybe the answers to my Biopsych midterms because REI-EN WHY YOU NO TRUST YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS FOR ANSWERS?). Everything happens for a reason, and everything will eventually work out.