Today, I slept for about 15-16 hours to compensate for the brutal sleep deprivation I inflicted upon myself for O Week. I’m pretty sure I slept about 15 hours for the whole of O Week.
I’m honestly very, very glad that O Week is over — it has been an insane, crazy 8 days, that’s been way too stressful for my liking. My mum commented that she’s never seen me so stressed before and it’s true; not even during A Levels was I this close to breaking down. But it was still a good experience and I’m glad that I went through O Week. Isn’t it kind of funny how I’m speaking of O Week as if it were a battle instead of an orientation camp that’s supposed to be fun? Well maybe for just the freshies!, and I genuinely hope that they had a gone time, and that they’ll come back for Arts Camp because the O Week freshies were amazing and so wonderful.
In Primary school, Xiao Zhang kept saying how she thinks I’ve leadership skills and I should be a prefect. O Week has made me realise that this is an entirely false observation, and that I’m just really good at doing saikang and talking nonsense — two essential skills if you want to be an Arts O Week OGL. I’m rather terrible at delegating responsibility, and also at getting people to do what I need them to do — again two essential skills that you need if you don’t want to be an Arts O Week OGL who loses her voice by day 3. What I realised over the course of O Week is that I lack the courage to tell off others when I don’t think they’re doing their job, or talk to them properly such that they understand what they need to do/start doing what they should be doing; I’d rather just tank their responsibilities for them, and just wait for them to start doing their jobs again. This is the sole reason why I feel rather conflicted about O Week, because while it ended really well, I feel that I could have done so much better, or could have made sure the freshies had much better time, if I was clearer in my instructions to my AOGLs and councillors.
Not that my AOGLs and councillors were bad, because they really helped me during certain moments, but I think we were all on different wavelengths — particularly on their job-scope and commitment towards O Week. I’m a rather rigid person when it comes to one’s responsibilities and duties, and I have rather high expectations of other people (unfairly so, may I add), and it may have conflicted with what my freshie-councillors were thinking. In that area, I failed terribly in communicating what I expected, because there was little communication — I half gave up on this sometime through the camp.
I can’t say I was perfect during O Week, because I was far from it. I could have been a lot more patient and understanding. Though at the same time, I’m glad that O Week hurled so many crazy obstacles and twists at me, I’d never have known I was capable of everything I’d done during O Week if it weren’t for all the “A Wild Trouble has appeared!” moments.
O Week also made me appreciate the Avengers a lot more — I wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for their help. I’m so grateful to have met and made such an awesome group of friends, friends who were willing to drop whatever they were doing to come down to camp and help me whenever I was panicking, or angsting. Friends who bought me laoban because I was bitching about life, and who helped me organise my thoughts and kept me calm while I was freaking out on Day 0. It was always, always so heartening whenever they told me I was doing fine, and that they were so proud of what I was doing, because my greatest fear was disappointing them during O Week. Isn’t that rather silly?
The Avengers were truly my pillars of support during the camp. If there was one thing I hoped I achieved during O Week, it would be that the freshies found friends like that in each other — friends who would go to great lengths just to help you.