Trying to decide what to pack for exchange is fiendishly difficult, especially for someone who is as prone to procrastinating as myself. The possibility of cold weather and the lack of proper knowledge of a) what exactly one needs to wear, b) how good I am with the cold are also both factors that have led to a serious inertia on the packing front. But in true glutton fashion, I’ve already compiled a list of foodstuff to bring over and am much more excited about eating Wang Wang over there than anything else (I lie, that is an exaggeration).

Counting down the days before I leave and now it seems as if time has flown by: exchange used to be a dream that awaited the next semester but alas!, the next semester is here and I’m flying off in less than six days. I’m, on one hand, extremely excited about flying off (new start, new adventures, new experiences: gonna find my centre and be super cool – although not literally); but on the other hand, I’m dreading leaving Singapore. What these past few weeks have made me realised is that despite outwardly appearances, family will always be one of the most important things to me and I’m gonna miss them most. Thinking of leaving my Grandpa behind is also a particularly painful thought, especially since two of the original five cousins are flying off for the next few months and everyone’s always talking about how the grand kids always cheer him up. Still sort of shaken by what happened, and am prone to momentary lapses into sadness, so I can’t imagine how my mum or aunts/uncles are taking it. As fervently as I believe in the transience of everything, it’s hard to make peace with it on an emotional level when it confronts you head on like that.

Before this turns into something that accidentally sets off my water-works, I’ll just deftly change the topic: I’m going to miss strange little things about Singapore too – I’m especially going to miss NLB. Hoarded a whole bunch of books over the holidays and I can’t believe I’m not going to have access to a library for the next six months! Here’s to hoping that AUC has a decently stocked library, but if not: Ishiguro (The Remains of the Day & Never Let Me Go) and as-of-yet-still-undecided-third-book will have to ride me over.

But lots of craziness has happened over the past month; so I guess I’m just looking forward to exchange also to find myself again. I’ve been hiding in my head too much because reality suxxxx (and although the make-belief isn’t as toxic as delving into the immutable past, it’s dangerously addictive)! If the colour I’ve been dressing in obsessively is anything to judge by, I’m still hopelessly entangled in the realm of Power Rangers – oh well, at least that conjures up some motivation to go running heh.

So five more days before I fly — bags still unpacked, thoroughly unprepared — but adventure awaits!

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