Came across this article in class today (obv while not paying attention at all), and although it didn’t quite resonate with me, it reminded me of what someone used to say about me, in sometimes a rather disparaging tone: that I live in my head. Can’t say that that’s not true because it definitely is – I spend way too much time obsessing and re-thinking things, daydreaming and conjuring up imaginary scenarios (which I desperately try to will into reality); and sometimes, it’s hard to re-connect with what’s physically happening because everything seems so different in the futures I’ve created for myself.
It’s not a problem most times, since I’m not incapable of distinguishing between reality and fiction.
However, I’ve a bad habit of lingering over the past, especially mistakes that I’ve made and hurt that I’ve inflicted upon others, even when it’s long over. And somehow, over the years, and particularly over the span of this year or so, I’ve developed the emotionally unhealthy habit of accepting blame and being needlessly apologetic – perhaps this ties into my rather nihilistic attitude towards life somehow.
Hm. Not sure what inspired this post, but I’ll just end it here. Applications are a-waiting to be written.