I’ve recently downloaded Evernote on my computer so that I keep an easy online journal of what’s been happening this year – this place has been too privy to too many rants, already. But in summary, this semester has been wild so far. May be exaggerating (though given that my first year of uni was spent in mindless confusion, and the second and third were spent with emotionally-unhealthy company, perhaps I’m not) but these two months have been one of the best few months of university as of yet. Good people, good vibes – but I hope I’m not jinxing it by saying so!
Even so, more than a year on, it’s funny (and when I say funny, I mean ridiculously unamusing) how things are now. Forgiveness and acceptance are not the same side of the coin: forgiving is simple, but accepting what has happened is not – or is it the other way around? And so, I’m continually bemused (frustrated, apathetic, it’s ludicrous?) by apparent hypocrisies and ironies in one’s actions.
I’m sure you’ve forgotten them all, that you’ve accepted the past as the past, and maybe one day, I
(pathetic, I’m sure, for not being able to let go, for being frozen in time, for seemingly rejecting the idea that ‘people can change‘ when I once desperately almost-blindly shall I say stupidly? hoped so, and still do)
I will too.